Well, this is a post I wasn’t sure I’d ever be writing… but here it is: I have a publisher! (Cue balloons, kazoos and confetti).
My debut book, A CHILD’S AWAKENING, will be released by SFWP in Spring 2022. It’s still surreal typing that – I have to keep pinching myself.
So I wanted to write a post about my journey to signing with my publisher. Now, I am by *no means* an expert. But what I can do is give you my personal experience and if that can help anyone on their own writing journey, that’s great. I know that as I was drafting, submitting, editing, waiting, checking my emails every 5 minutes, pulling my hair out and trying to distract myself, I found comfort and reassurance in reading about what others had done in their writing/submission processes.
I began writing what would become A Child’s Awakening in February 2018. I was in the middle of my Counselling degree and met some amazing people on my course. One of them invited me to join her in playing a little-known tabletop game, Dungeons and Dragons. I’d never played before and was excited to create my character, Evelyn. (As an aside, I quickly became a convert to this awesome game—any other D&D players out there?).
After many years of hesitation, self-doubt and lack of confidence in my writing abilities, something about putting together Evelyn’s back story re-awoke my creativity. Having had personal therapy, my self-esteem was vastly improved and I felt surer of myself. This was something I’d always wanted to do–why shouldn’t I start writing again?
Of course, there were still hiccups in my self-belief—still are, I hasten to add, and that is 100% a natural part of the process—but I was determined to prove that I could write a book. Being a student meant I had plenty of time to get it written and I finished the first draft in November 2018 (thank you, NaNoWriMo!). I was so proud of my achievement that I was determined to get it out into the world as soon as possible. My dear friend Cindy van Wilder (an amazing writer herself) had been beta reading as I wrote. Alongside this, I paid an editor to provide a full manuscript critique. The feedback was pretty good, I felt ready. That was surely enough. Why wait?
If I can give one piece of advice at this point, it’s this: Don’t do what I did. I was far too premature in submitting my book to agents and they undoubtedly knew that (that’s their job, after all). Needless to say, I received my first swathe of rejections in early 2019—some mentioned liking the premise, admiring the writing, but the same line came up again and again: “I didn’t connect with the opening chapters.”
What should I have done? Well, I read this in multiple places and I’m sure you have too—WAIT. Let the manuscript rest for a few months, six if you can bear it (I remember reading that and thinking “who has the patience to wait for six months?!“). I was WAY too excited to share my book with the world, and I’ve always been impatient (ah, patience–you will learn how important this is in your writing journey). Now, 18 months later, I know how quickly those six months would have flown by and how much of a foot forward they would have given me back then had I actually followed the advice I was reading again and again. (Hindsight is a wonderful thing).
Once I’d received a few rejections, I realised the manuscript was simply not good enough. I recruited some more beta readers, got further feedback and began another round of edits. (Side note: for those struggling to find beta readers or critique partners, Twitter has always been the best place I’ve found). This time, I told myself, THIS TIME, the book was ready.
Again, no—but that didn’t stop me sending out further agent queries. At the same time, I was also submitting my book into novel contests all over the place. The prologue and first chapter got long-listed in one which filled me with a sense of hope—there must be *something* right with it?! Then again, in the same contest a year later, the updated version didn’t get anywhere. Just goes to show how much people’s different tastes can play a role.
Of course, I can’t speak about all this without mentioning my feelings of hopelessness and anxiety and becoming increasingly disheartened by the rejections. There were times I wondered whether I was good enough or would ever reach my goal of publication. It’s easy to become bogged down in questioning yourself. Practice self-care, whatever that may be for you. It’s important to be able to work through feelings of rejection—they’re completely valid—and then move onwards and upwards.
Now, I’m nothing if not stubborn (perhaps too stubborn). I was determined that this book in particular—the first book I’d written—was going to be published. I heard people say the chances are low of this happening and refused to let that phase me (I refer you back to my point about the stubbornness).
Forty-odd agent rejections down and feeling somewhat (very) deflated towards the middle of 2019, I started considering going direct to publishers as well as researching self-publication. I’ve read varying views on how many rejections on one manuscript is “too many”; how many should you reach before shelving the book and moving on? Perhaps I was afraid of reaching this point. Either way, I decided this was the next step for the manuscript.
Around this time, I saw Santa Fe Writers Project (SFWP) advertising their Literary Award for 2019. That’s how I first learned of my publisher. Though I didn’t get anywhere in the competition, SFWP soon put out a call for sci-fi and fantasy novels. I submitted my manuscript and got a response in November 2019. It was a no BUT from the director, Andrew Gifford. My first rejection with detailed feedback, outlining he’d like to see a future draft if I chose to edit the novel.
I was thrilled. Rejections are always hard, but those that give you some kind of feedback like this can be exactly what you need when you’re feeling stuck with a particular manuscript. An idea as to what might need improvement, a push to go over it again and be really critical—what works and what doesn’t?
So that’s what I did. I noticed things I hadn’t in previous edits (it’s remarkable what a few months away does for your critical eye) and, once I was happy with it, submitted it again.
2020 began strangely. I had some personal misfortune in the first couple of months and then, of course, the COVID-19 pandemic took over all of our lives. But, in the midst of all that strangeness, I received an email from Andrew at SFWP in May 2020 offering me a contract for publication!
And that’s it. My debut book (and the first in my fantasy trilogy), A CHILD’s AWAKENING will be out in Spring 2022.
I wonder if I’ll ever get used to writing that.
Lucy A. McLaren 
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