I’ve previously written a similar post to this for fellow author Zoe Walker’s website, but I decided to give it a bit of a rewrite in light of… well, the last 18 months. That previous post was focused on writers and the specific anxieties and self-doubts they may face. I will still focus on those issues, but these tools are suitable for anyone.
As a writer and counsellor, I am passionate about finding ways of dealing with the issues that we have all faced and how these have impacted upon our mental health. As a counsellor, I’ve experienced the past 18 months not only for myself, but through the eyes of my clients, friends and family, including the resulting stress, anxiety, fears and worries that have arisen. As a writer, I feel that the stories we write and share with each other have inherent value in allowing us to better cope with (to put it bluntly) the shit life throws at us. I’ve written an article on how the depiction of mental health issues within fantasy can help readers to process their own trauma which you can read here.
I started writing my debut novel, Awakening, in March 2018. I was training to be a counsellor at the time and starting to work through my own mental health issues, whilst also learning about various theories on the topic. I queried my novel from December 2018 onwards (way too early; having completed it during NaNoWriMo, I literally did not wait before sending it out—fool!). I also had critique partners and beta readers involved and was receiving feedback. This was a big deal because I’d previously been incredibly reserved about sharing my writing with anyone due to crippling self-doubt and anxiety. In fact, my writing a book at all was a big achievement as I hadn’t really written much between the ages of 16 and 28 because of said self-doubt and anxiety. The numerous rejections I received over the ensuing months didn’t help. But I did receive some encouraging feedback from CPs/beta readers and spurred me on (thankfully, otherwise I wouldn’t have found my amazing publisher!). Even so, I’ve always been someone who will far more readily take on the negative feedback than the positive (good old anxiety) and that has been a challenge to overcome.
And I’ve seen similar sentiments from other writers on social media. I’ve read the saying about writers needing thick skin more than I can count. But sometimes it’s not that easy to brush off rejection, and not everyone has thick skin. When you’re putting what is essentially a part of yourself out into the world, then refreshing your emails every 5 minutes until, weeks later, you receive what’s likely a form rejection… it can feel very disheartening. Now, I’m not saying writers should take these form rejections personally. Writing is a subjective field and of course there’ll be people who don’t like your stories. That is something we need to accept. What I am trying to give advice on is how to deal with any anxiety or self-doubt you may have. Some anxiety is completely natural; everyone has it and it can even be useful. It’s when it becomes all-consuming, taking over your thoughts regularly and impacting upon your feelings and behaviours that it should be addressed.
Anxiety can be insidious, creeping up on you and taking hold before you know it. It might be ingrained in you from outside beliefs or experiences from childhood. But we are in this together and by gaining this knowledge, we can start to move away from those anxious thoughts, ideas and beliefs, thereby improving how we feel.
These tools are ones I’ve utilised myself as well recommending to clients in my counselling practice:
- Complete a daily gratitude journal (good examples of these can be found here and here). A lot of times, anxiety can involve being stuck in a perpetual negative thinking cycle. And that’s hard to get out of. Habits are hard to break, of course, but it can be done. By utilising a gratitude journal regularly, you can begin to think about things in a different light. Focus on what you’re proud of, what you like about yourself or what you’ve achieved, and you will slowly start to break away from the automatic negative thinking you’ve become entrenched in. If you have a smart phone and would prefer to keep a journal on your phone rather than on paper, do that. You can use your notes section to the same effect.
- Use mindfulness to help calm your mind, get in touch with your thoughts and alleviate stress. I often recommend the Headspace app (which is free for the first 10 days). This worksheet gives a good outline of what mindfulness is, and this worksheet has a few different suggestions for exercises to try.
- Yoga is similar to mindfulness in that some exercises utilise meditation and a focus on breathing to help you reconnect with your mind and body. This isn’t for everyone but if you’re up for trying, I cannot recommend Yoga with Adriene on YouTube enough. She has free yoga videos for beginners up to more advanced yogis.
- Thought exploration worksheets such as this or this can help you to go over your thinking patterns and consider how you might look at them differently. You may like to do this with someone you trust, in case any difficult emotions come up.
I hope you can find something useful here. Please note that all of the above are only suggestions. Don’t try (or continue with) anything you don’t feel comfortable with. Also bear in mind that different things work for different people. If you do try any of the above out, see what fits for you.
If you’d like to ask me about anything I’ve suggested here, my Twitter DMs are always open. Feel free to reach out—I’ll always respond (just possibly not on the same day as I have an infant son!).
Most importantly, be patient with yourself. Changes in habits take time to implement.
Take one step at a time.
Be mindful of what is suitable for you and, as I said, only try or continue with exercises you feel comfortable with. And please remember that if you do feel unable to cope, overwhelmed or stressed—reach out to someone, whether that be a friend, family member or professional.
If you’re in the U.K., here’s some organisations that may be of assistance:
- Anxiety UK
- CALM – specifically for men
- Mind
- Papyrus – specifically for people under 35
- Samaritans
- A comprehensive NHS recommendation list can be found here.
If you are in a different country, do a web search for the nearest organisations to you.
Take care,
Lucy
Lucy A. McLaren 
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