Lucy A. McLaren

I’m going to talk about addiction, in the lightest way possible without, I hope, coming across as flippant. Disclaimer: I am in no way a mental health professional and the following is just my opinion.

One of my main characters in Even Gods Are Blind, is going through a terrible time in his life. He has some mental health issues, it’s integral to the story and besides, who really wants to give their characters an easy life? We want them to feel real, ready to jump from the pages. That’s why we give them tasks and put them through horrific challenges for entertainment value and so we encourage our readers to turn just one more page. My character, Tarquinius has borderline agoraphobia and a drinking problem. He drinks incessantly throughout the day, it is his coping mechanism for the disaster that is his life. He does get help, whether he wants it or not and begins to heal, but you should read my book if you want the whole story.

During my research on addiction and other mental health issues, I realised I was perhaps exhibiting certain behaviours that could be classed as an addiction. Only gambling seems to have an official classification as a behavioural addiction, but I’m sure we all know someone who can’t put their phone down, for they might miss something on social media. The constant scrolling, waiting for the next ‘like’. Other behavioural addictions can include shopping, video games or even plastic surgery, any repetitive behaviour that has a negative impact on your life.

An article on verywellmind.com shares the following red flags to help identify behavioural addictions.

• Spending the majority of your time engaging in the behaviour, thinking about or arranging to engage in the behaviour, or recovering from the effects
• Becoming dependent on the behaviour as a way to cope with emotions and to “feel normal”
• Continuing despite physical and/or mental harm
• Having trouble cutting back despite wanting to stop
• Neglecting work, school, or family to engage in the behaviour more often
• Experiencing symptoms of withdrawal (for example, depression, irritability) when trying to stop
• Minimizing or hiding the extent of the problem/

Not that what I am about to share is defined by the medical community anywhere, I want to share my experience.

My name is Zoe Walker and I have a problem.

I am a writer. I think about writing all the time. When I am cooking. In the shower. At the beach. Lying in bed, willing sleep to come. When I am doing these things, I almost resent them. I am not at my computer, whether furiously typing away or researching a minute yet relevant detail that must be included to make the plot complete. Just another 500 words, then I can quit. For today.

I can’t tell you the last time I vacuumed. I tear myself away, long enough to cook dinner. I will my child to go to sleep faster so I can get back to my keyboard. I have stopped making plans with my friends. My poor husband goes to sleep alone most nights since I’m awake until 3am, making use of the peace and quiet.

I try to tell myself it is dedication. It’s my job. If I ever want to get published, it needs to be perfect but how nice it would be, to be able to produce a book while sitting in a coffee shop, as in some film montage.

So I’m reaching out to you, fellow writers, please tell me I am not alone in this.

Are the words taking over your life too?

I feel the only solution is if I manage to publish my book. Then I can relax.

Until the sequel.

Please if you feel you are suffering from any of the red flags above, reach out to someone for help, your family doctor or a close friend. The internet has many resources to help too.

For more information about Zoe and her current WIP, you can check out the author interview I did with her recently. Alternatively, visit her website or check her out on Twitter.

To link into the theme of mental health, I also did a guest post on Zoe’s website about writing, anxiety and self-doubt which can be found here.

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